Despite my efforts to live as a grown independent man, I find myself back at the place where I started. In my parent's home... as a child, I once was. The thing about being with your parents is, no matter how much you grow or how much ever you mature, to them, you'll always be a kid. Perhaps, it's because they WANT to see you as a kid. That's how their memory has registered you and less flexible humans fear change. So they disapprove or overlook it. I might just be harsh on myself but as a twenty two year old living with his parents, I call myself a failure. Feeling like a man-kid is something I utterly detest.
Being twenty something, it's difficult to live with your parents. You have your ideologies that have been well thought, carefully conceived, skilfully tweaked and sharply plotted. They have their own. Supposedly... things that 'withstood the test of time'. Even the animal kingdom teaches us, young ones don't live with their parents, once they can hunt for themselves. I read somewhere, 'The key to change is not in resisting the old but on channelizing all your energy into the new'. I mean, for a second here just wait. Stop whatever you are doing and think about it. If the Homo Erectus would've done the exact same thing as his parents, we wouldn't be walking on two feet.
Evolution teaches us not to mimic our parents. Now I'm getting off topic here; let's get back to that. So say, you are twenty something who just finished college and is having a hard time landing a job in this horrid economy. There comes a day when you realize, "Oh no, I'm gonna have to move back with my parents and life's gonna get ugly again." We love our parents. We really do. We wouldn't be where we are if they hadn't supported us (doesn't apply to all). But living with them is just not practical; not in your twenties. Especially, if you are one of those humans who is actively trying to evolve the human race. Yes, the Homo Erectus, of the modern time (with less homo and more erectus).
Now I was reverting back to my childhood habits and puny arguments with my parents. When I was living alone, these things didn't happen. Life was very peaceful. The thought process was simple and I didn't have to carefully sugarcoat my point fearing I would hurt someone's ego. It was so easy with friends, colleagues and the landlords.
The landlords. They didn't have kids. I was their kid. But they never treated me like one. Because my presence was an income to them. If I leave, they not only lose a source of income, they also lose an epic starcraft coach. Add to that, they have to search for a new tenant, which is a hectic process all together. So pissing me off was one of the last things they would do. They didn't have an ego. Maybe they did. But they never bothered me with it. There was this mutual respect. "If I be rude to my tenant, he leaves and I have to look for another one (who can play starcraft with me)" AND "If I be rude to my landlord, he kicks me out."
This landlord-tenant relationship worked out great. Hell, they cried when I left! Not even my biological parents did that. So what was so difficult about my parent-child relationship? Was I being immature? Was I taking my parents and their opinions too seriously? Why couldn't I have a relation with them like I had with my landlords?
That's when I thought, why not?
You are twenty something, have to live with your parents and are having difficulties coping with it? Change the nature of your relationship. Stop thinking of them as your parents and start thinking of them as your landlords. Pay them a monthly rent if required. Parents with a sense of humor would laugh it off and sensitive ones would be pissed when you suggest this concept of redefining your relationship and paying for what used to be free. Practical ones would accept the money and let you live with your dignity. Mine didn't; they were pissed.
Now if you think your parents might be too shocked with this, don't tell them. Just start acting like it. I mean, they DO reserve the right to throw you out if you do something really really stupid. That's the same as a landlord. Now if they don't accept the rent you were so willing to pay, why not pay them in services like, doing the laundry or cleaning up or setting up their wifi or anything that makes their life easier.
So if you are twenty something and are forced to live with your parents (for whatever reasons), don't imagine yourself as the kid, you are the tenant. Act like it.
Being twenty something, it's difficult to live with your parents. You have your ideologies that have been well thought, carefully conceived, skilfully tweaked and sharply plotted. They have their own. Supposedly... things that 'withstood the test of time'. Even the animal kingdom teaches us, young ones don't live with their parents, once they can hunt for themselves. I read somewhere, 'The key to change is not in resisting the old but on channelizing all your energy into the new'. I mean, for a second here just wait. Stop whatever you are doing and think about it. If the Homo Erectus would've done the exact same thing as his parents, we wouldn't be walking on two feet.
Evolution teaches us not to mimic our parents. Now I'm getting off topic here; let's get back to that. So say, you are twenty something who just finished college and is having a hard time landing a job in this horrid economy. There comes a day when you realize, "Oh no, I'm gonna have to move back with my parents and life's gonna get ugly again." We love our parents. We really do. We wouldn't be where we are if they hadn't supported us (doesn't apply to all). But living with them is just not practical; not in your twenties. Especially, if you are one of those humans who is actively trying to evolve the human race. Yes, the Homo Erectus, of the modern time (with less homo and more erectus).
Now I was reverting back to my childhood habits and puny arguments with my parents. When I was living alone, these things didn't happen. Life was very peaceful. The thought process was simple and I didn't have to carefully sugarcoat my point fearing I would hurt someone's ego. It was so easy with friends, colleagues and the landlords.
The landlords. They didn't have kids. I was their kid. But they never treated me like one. Because my presence was an income to them. If I leave, they not only lose a source of income, they also lose an epic starcraft coach. Add to that, they have to search for a new tenant, which is a hectic process all together. So pissing me off was one of the last things they would do. They didn't have an ego. Maybe they did. But they never bothered me with it. There was this mutual respect. "If I be rude to my tenant, he leaves and I have to look for another one (who can play starcraft with me)" AND "If I be rude to my landlord, he kicks me out."
This landlord-tenant relationship worked out great. Hell, they cried when I left! Not even my biological parents did that. So what was so difficult about my parent-child relationship? Was I being immature? Was I taking my parents and their opinions too seriously? Why couldn't I have a relation with them like I had with my landlords?
That's when I thought, why not?
You are twenty something, have to live with your parents and are having difficulties coping with it? Change the nature of your relationship. Stop thinking of them as your parents and start thinking of them as your landlords. Pay them a monthly rent if required. Parents with a sense of humor would laugh it off and sensitive ones would be pissed when you suggest this concept of redefining your relationship and paying for what used to be free. Practical ones would accept the money and let you live with your dignity. Mine didn't; they were pissed.
Now if you think your parents might be too shocked with this, don't tell them. Just start acting like it. I mean, they DO reserve the right to throw you out if you do something really really stupid. That's the same as a landlord. Now if they don't accept the rent you were so willing to pay, why not pay them in services like, doing the laundry or cleaning up or setting up their wifi or anything that makes their life easier.
So if you are twenty something and are forced to live with your parents (for whatever reasons), don't imagine yourself as the kid, you are the tenant. Act like it.
