Living on the Beach and in the Mountains

This is more of a revelation post than a rant post. Although apologies if I'm not able to hold myself back. In this post, we are gonna discuss society. Yeah, the people that surround you. To you, that's society. To them, you are a part of their society.

Ever been told that you are special snowflake? We all were. So the answer is, no you're not.

So basically, I've started to classify people into three categories. Call me a stuck-up judgmental idiot but I don't really see a way around this issue without getting in harms way. Drastic situations call for drastic measures.

Humans - These are the people you can freely interact with. Your friends. You can have a non-egoistic argument with them and come to solid conclusions. Swear at each other without offending the other. You don't have to tactfully sugarcoat your point to get it through. These are your true friends and these are the people your mind truly see as humans.

How do we make friends? Some of us are socially awkward. Were we born that way? Hell no. We all had friends in kindergarten. We are born as social creatures. It's the interactions with society and the failures, obstacles and pressure we face over time that makes us socially awkward. Rather, I should use the more appropriate phrase, lose faith in society. Some of the smartest people in the history of mankind were known to be solitary, with a small circle of friends. That's right; SMALL CIRCLE OF FRIENDS.

Friends are people who share the same issues, situations, experiences or places as you. In short, to be naturally friends with someone, you need to have stuff in common. But that's not enough for your brain to treat them as humans. They need to see the world, the same way as you do. Of course, you won't have the exact same image in mind but as long as there is a common objective, you'll end up with allies in completely unexpected places. Your brain thinks of them as equals.

Animals - You know that acquaintance who you nod and smile to, when you walk by. We don't particularly enjoy it but sometimes you have to talk to them. This 'chore' is not as easy as talking to your friends. You need to be diplomatic in structuring your point to get it through. You can deem them as allies but not really friends. You can't really share yourself with them like you can with humans. They are the kind of people with whom you need small talk to be comfortable with. Here's a quote from Pulp Fiction to show you what I mean,

Mia: Don't you hate that?
Vincent: What?
Mia: Uncomfortable silences. Why do we feel it's necessary to yak about bullshit in order to be comfortable?
Vincent: I don't know. That's a good question.
Mia: That's when you know you've found somebody special. When you can just shut the fuck up for a minute and comfortably enjoy the silence.

That's the difference between a human and an animal. Most professional/formal relationships are of this nature. The animalistic nature. The 'I will not bite you if you do not bite me' kind of relationships. Let's admit it, we don't really like to deal with animals unless we have no other choice. You might occasionally indulge in small talk but you know it's not going beyond that. The most that can happen is you discover a common interest or a side of them. Not that it's impossible but it's just difficult for them to be your friends.

The reason why I call this group as animals is because they are animate. They move, talk and (are supposed to) think. However, our interaction with them is similar to the way we interact with animals. We pat their heads, with words. We try to pull the horse to the water, with words. We rub their bellies, with words. We experiment and see if our cat likes shiny objects or round objects more; all of this, with words.

You can never consider them as equals (unless you figure out something about them that changes their image in your head to a human). They will forever be the most obvious people and to them, you end up becoming some mysterious being from the legends.

Trees - When was the last time you smiled or waved to a tree? That's exactly what these people are to your brain. Ever had the feeling of being surrounded by people yet lonely without contact? Chances are you were surrounded by trees. Being surrounded by trees is similar to living in the mountains. You are surrounded by trees but there's nothing more to it; you will have people everywhere but you can't really interact with them. If you have lived for a really long time in a forest, even the sight of an animal can seem like a rare opportunity.

In a forest, you might as well talk to animals. They don't understand you and you don't understand them but hey! It's any day better than talking to a tree!

There ARE times when you have to talk to a tree. Like when you are buying something at the departmental store or taking a cab. Here our tree becomes an animal because you interact with them. You don't interact with them because you WANT to. You interact with them because you NEED something. Unlike animals, you don't really consider them as someone you can interact with but if you do, it's because you NEED something. In Indonesia, that guy working at KFC couldn't speak English but we still managed to communicate my meal and their price by pointing and using a calculator. So simply put, you can promote a tree to an animal.

To summarize all that, I would like to conclude, humans are the people closest to you, animals are the ones you interact with but they are still far from you and trees are the ones who exist but we don't really acknowledge their presence. Your mind can promote a Tree to an Animal via NEED. Your mind can also promote an Animal to Human via TRUST / SIMILARITIES. First impressions are important because that's when you deem a person as a Tree, an Animal or a Human.

With the nomenclature complete, let's get to the point I want to discuss.

The more humans and less trees you have in your life, the more popular you feel. Every person is important and every person has something to say, something to stand up for. There are a few animals but that's fine, we have more humans and barely any trees. That's the beach. You can see very far, very clear. Humans, even in the distance, are very prominent. You can see the occasional animals but very few trees.

This is the exact opposite of feeling lonely. In a state of loneliness it feels as if you are surrounded by trees and a few animals; almost like living in the mountains. You prefer company of these sad animals because talking to animals is better than talking to trees. Deeps inside you know you need human interaction but that's not happening; not here in the mountains.

When you are in the mountains, no one really watches you, except trees and the occasional animals. So you don't really care how you look or what you do. Not like the trees can make a difference to you. The animals can pester you but you can fend them off. This causes a sense of self-centered-ness. There's no human on this mountain except you. You let your hair grow. Stop looking at the mirror. Interact with animals. Even talk to trees because you need to. Times like these you wonder, if a human were to see you in this state... they would probably think of you as an animal.

At the same time, the mountain blinds you. There are so many trees, it's hard to see other humans. Just like you, they prefer to hide away and the cycle of loneliness continues. Even if they see each other, all they see is an animal starring at them. Self growth isn't required since there's no human to see/comprehend it. Helping the mountain become a better place isn't required because we are searching for the beach. If we wanna be at the beach, why even bother fixing a mountain (that can't even be fixed, to begin with)? You start treating your mind, body and surrounding like garbage. This is depression.

On the beach, when you are surrounded by humans, you want to be a better human because you see humans and they see you. You actively try to be a better person, thereby making the beach a better place. You might even see some animals as humans because that's what they seem like on the beach. You don't mind cleaning the beach because you are happy being surrounded by more humans than animals or trees. Every person has a happy place where they belong, where they are with people who are more like them. Where they can just be themselves, where trees don't blind and animals don't attack them.

So here's a question for you, are you living on a mountain too or do you see yourself on a beach?

Parental Dilemma of the Mankid

Despite my efforts to live as a grown independent man, I find myself back at the place where I started. In my parent's home... as a child, I once was. The thing about being with your parents is, no matter how much you grow or how much ever you mature, to them, you'll always be a kid. Perhaps, it's because they WANT to see you as a kid. That's how their memory has registered you and less flexible humans fear change. So they disapprove or overlook it. I might just be harsh on myself but as a twenty two year old living with his parents, I call myself a failure. Feeling like a man-kid is something I utterly detest.

Being twenty something, it's difficult to live with your parents. You have your ideologies that have been well thought, carefully conceived, skilfully tweaked and sharply plotted. They have their own. Supposedly... things that 'withstood the test of time'. Even the animal kingdom teaches us, young ones don't live with their parents, once they can hunt for themselves. I read somewhere, 'The key to change is not in resisting the old but on channelizing all your energy into the new'. I mean, for a second here just wait. Stop whatever you are doing and think about it. If the Homo Erectus would've done the exact same thing as his parents, we wouldn't be walking on two feet.

Evolution teaches us not to mimic our parents. Now I'm getting off topic here; let's get back to that. So say, you are twenty something who just finished college and is having a hard time landing a job in this horrid economy. There comes a day when you realize, "Oh no, I'm gonna have to move back with my parents and life's gonna get ugly again." We love our parents. We really do. We wouldn't be where we are if they hadn't supported us (doesn't apply to all). But living with them is just not practical; not in your twenties. Especially, if you are one of those humans who is actively trying to evolve the human race. Yes, the Homo Erectus, of the modern time (with less homo and more erectus).

Now I was reverting back to my childhood habits and puny arguments with my parents. When I was living alone, these things didn't happen. Life was very peaceful. The thought process was simple and I didn't have to carefully sugarcoat my point fearing I would hurt someone's ego. It was so easy with friends, colleagues and the landlords.

The landlords. They didn't have kids. I was their kid. But they never treated me like one. Because my presence was an income to them. If I leave, they not only lose a source of income, they also lose an epic starcraft coach. Add to that, they have to search for a new tenant, which is a hectic process all together. So pissing me off was one of the last things they would do. They didn't have an ego. Maybe they did. But they never bothered me with it. There was this mutual respect. "If I be rude to my tenant, he leaves and I have to look for another one (who can play starcraft with me)" AND "If I be rude to my landlord, he kicks me out."

This landlord-tenant relationship worked out great. Hell, they cried when I left! Not even my biological parents did that. So what was so difficult about my parent-child relationship? Was I being immature? Was I taking my parents and their opinions too seriously? Why couldn't I have a relation with them like I had with my landlords?

That's when I thought, why not?

You are twenty something, have to live with your parents and are having difficulties coping with it? Change the nature of your relationship. Stop thinking of them as your parents and start thinking of them as your landlords. Pay them a monthly rent if required. Parents with a sense of humor would laugh it off and sensitive ones would be pissed when you suggest this concept of redefining your relationship and paying for what used to be free. Practical ones would accept the money and let you live with your dignity. Mine didn't; they were pissed.

Now if you think your parents might be too shocked with this, don't tell them. Just start acting like it. I mean, they DO reserve the right to throw you out if you do something really really stupid. That's the same as a landlord. Now if they don't accept the rent you were so willing to pay, why not pay them in services like, doing the laundry or cleaning up or setting up their wifi or anything that makes their life easier.

So if you are twenty something and are forced to live with your parents (for whatever reasons), don't imagine yourself as the kid, you are the tenant. Act like it.

The Stack of Life

Whenever you are to make a major move and you are not really excited about it or maybe even unsure of the move you are making, this principle should help you out. The Stack of Life principle.

Today, I met an old friend of mine and told him about move. He couldn't help but notice that I was sad. As a bro, he suggested I was thinking of this as a terminal thing. As if things are ending. He is right. This is not the end. There's more to life than moving back to your hometown. There are many other places to explore! So many things I haven't seen or done!

The way he puts it, the experiences you get in life can be considered as elements in a stack. There will be good times and there will be bad times. But they all go in your stack of life. So eventually, you'll have all these experiences in your stack.

The other thing was, you should judge what's on your stack and what it looks like but don't be judgmental of it. We should rather try to find out more things to add to our stacks. Get out of your comfort zone; try out new things. Find out things you would like to add to your stack.

Over time, you will have all these experiences and memories that you accumulated over time. It's these memories and what you make of them that makes you who you are.

The Shopping Cart Hack

Ever been in a situation when you return home from a shopping spree, crawl into bed and wake up the next morning wondering why you brought all that stuff; most of which you wont even need?

Some French dude once said,

"人間は弱いんだよ。"
"Humans are weak."

It's funny to see that guy in the movies who manages to survive great perils like jumping off a building, surviving a car accident, listen to Justin Beaver sing and what not; only to die by a misplaced nail, piercing him at a vulnerable spot. This is just physical weakness.

The more dangerous form, I believe, is mental weakness. Inability to think or make rational decisions is like a debuff that limits your vision allowing you to see only the center of your monitor. Or should I say, allowing you to see only what is in front of you. There is always more to anything, than what meets the eye. That's why, even though it seems wasteful, be sure to carry a Pokemon who can use HM05 in a dark cave.

Going back to the example we started with. It's a regretful morning and you are stuck with an empty wallet and stuff you don't need. Studying the human species and the human side of myself, I realized, "人間は弱いんだよ。" Without a goal, purpose or motive, it's easy to be lost, it's easy to forget WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing. Add money to this mix and voila! You have an adult; a kid with money. Being humans, we like those shiny things. You see that cute girl in the subway and it somehow pleases you. Even without knowing her mentality, mindset or anything about her, you somehow like her. Hell, she might just be a psychopath killer! Who knows. My point being, shiny things make simple minded humans happy and let's be honest, no matter how perplexed your mind is, everyone has a simple side to them. The vulnerable one.

As if this level of happiness isn't adequate, the consumerist world today, adds another thing to this explosive mix. VARIETY. When I was at the grocery store today, I realized the amount of variety we get. The fact that we have choices has a very liberal feel to it. Nothing wrong that.

THIS is what was wrong - 

Locking the door to my apartment before heading for the supermarket, my intention was to buy something to drink that is healthy, cheap, thirst-quenching and can be had in surplus without major side effects. That itself was enough to cross beer and soda off my list. The first thing that came to my mind was Orange juice. 決めた。(decided) Orange juice it shall be. At the supermarket, practicality kicked in and I realized, Ice Lemon Tea would be a better and cheaper alternative. At the end of my spree, I asked myself, what is this bar of Snickers, this HUGE can of Milo, shitload of Pocky sticks and a two cups of cup ramyun (Korean Ramen) doing in my basket? Do I even need this? Are they essential to my survival? THIS is what was wrong.

Humans are weak. I had let my humane side do the shopping. As I looked at all the junk in my basket, I felt stupid. The fun part was picking stuff off the shelf and throwing it in my basket. What was not fun was about to happen in a few minutes at the cashier. That was when I saw myself waking up in the morning, just the way I described at the beginning of this post. As much as I had enjoyed 'sliding things in my basket', I hated the fact that I'm gonna have to 'wake up to that sick feeling'. Promptly, I placed those things back on their shelves.

They say, some of the greatest discoveries are made by accident. It was only by this accident that I ended up with this crazy idea of satisfying your wants by 'sliding things in your basket' and being practical about it by 'placing them back on the shelf' after a moment of realization. Productive? Definitely not. But if you are a small time schizo like me, it's amusing to avoid the 'regretful morning' scenario while still pampering the kid in you. Thus, I present to you, the Shopping Cart Hack; the joy of shopping and the joy of not feeling like an idiot.

Nem and nem,
signing off

Dinosaurism

Living your life by a set of rules, in a way, gives meaning to it. A life without a purpose is not much different than that of a wanderer. Personally, I think, Life is more about Time. Think of it this way, we are allocated a particular amount of time in this world and we are all gonna die someday. So what truly matters is what we do in this stipulated time period. How we spend this time or with whom we spend it with is actually spending a part of your life with that person or that subject.

Learning is a life long process and there are many things that we learn; actively or passively. One of the fastest ways to learn, I believe, is learning from mistakes. This statement doesn't exactly promote the more misinterpreted meaning to MAKE mistakes so you can learn from them. It can also mean learning from mistakes made by others. Another approach is to foresee mistakes and to avoid them completely. But that's moving away from my point.

Well so here I am, trying to learn from the wisdom left by some of the most ancient species known to mankind - The Dinosaurs. It's amazing, how simple their life was, yet so systematic. Fascinating creatures, they were and shall be. Following are the commandments that I have learned from them.


The Ten Commandments of Dinosaurism

1 - You are free to be ANY dinosaur, anytime you want. Hence you can follow behavioral patterns of any other dinosaur depending on the situation. For instance, Kids love Barney.

Observe closely the expressions of the kids.

2 - You are free to eat anything. ANYTHING. Even other Dinosaurs. However, that also means other Dinosaurs can eat you too. (here, eating can be a metaphor to 'messing with')

Like. A. Boss.

3 - You are to follow the laws of your jungle. If you are to go to a new jungle, learn the rules; follow them to ensure survival. Knowing the rules tell you what NOT to do. If you know what not to do, what you CAN do is only limited by your imagination.

Unrelated picture; but she is really cute.

4 - You must take care of the jungle you live in and ensure it is fit for yourself, other Dinosaurs and the future Dinosaurs to come.

and the environment.

5 - You are allowed to suffix your nickname with -saur/-osaur in informal and -saurus/-osaurus in formal situations. Every Dinosaur has a right to have an awesome nickname.

"Dear no! It's SIR Tyrannosaurus!"

6 - You will be nice to little Dinosaurs. You, YOURSELF, will not indulge in activities you don't want THEM to do. However, you must not hamper evolution. Dinosaurs would've never taken to the skies if their parents had prohibited any attempts to fly.

You really don't want kids to do stupid things just because they saw you do it first. That would only result in devolution.

7 - You will leave your nest once you can hunt on your own. Don't be a burden to your creators. They can manage on their own, just like they did before you existed. You must be grateful to them for everything they did and didn't do for you, for those are the very things that make you the Dinosaur you are.

What's a post without cutesy artwork. So there, dawww all you want.

9 - You will prioritize the evolution of your species. If you are required to, a mate must be chosen with utmost care, prioritizing factors that you would want to see in the future generations.

Apparently, large eyes and long legs are still hot.

10 - You will one day go extinct but you must leave behind something that will baffle the humans for centuries to come; only then shall you be a true Dinosaur.

A human, baffled at what you left behind.

Thus I conclude my findings and studies. The path shown to us by the dinosaurs is a very harsh one, indeed. Even though we, as individual Dinosaurs, WILL, one day be extinct, it's this limited amount of time we have that makes life so important and interesting.

Nemosaurus,
Signing off.