Haphazardous Impulses

Destiny; the unknown force that makes things flow the way they are meant to. The force that governs all actions and reactions of this world. Till a certain age in life, I didn't believe in such an unearthly force. Its was only when I started seeing the world the way I see it now, I could feel its existence. Everything happens for a reason. Destiny applies for those that don't.

Back when I was a kid, the festival of Ganeshotsav, which generally comes amidst a spam of other Hindu festivals somewhere in September, used to be one of my favorites. To me, now its just a bunch of people who get an idol home for a couple of days, pretend to be its slaves and celebrate when they drown their deity in a nearby lake or sea. (which, honestly, doesn't makes sense. If you love the deity, why send him back? and if you don't, why bring him home in the first place?)

But things were different when I was a kid. Ganeshotsav was just another reason to stay away from school and celebrate. We didn't have Ganapati at our home; however, our neighbors did! Being the energetic jolly kid, I was always around their home, helping and (lazily) assisting them in ways fit for a 8~9 year old kid. I remember waking up early in the morning to get the deity home, on the first day. The part that had always been a mystery to me was the Visarjan. Since they did it late at night and because I was a child, restricted by a curfew time (unlike now), I never got to see it. I had seen it a million times on television but digital media cannot compare to a first hand, real life experience. Later on, as I turned towards the final few years of my teenage, my interest for the whole affair started to die out, for more reasons than I can remember. Ever so often, I used to see the Visarjan part on television; never bothered watching it till the end, either.

So after skipping college and spending the day inside my room like a self-grounded eHermit, my grandfather asked me to take a stroll and catch some fresh air at around 20:30. Granny recommended me to leave after dinner and so I was walking out the door at around 21:30. Called up a friend and as it turned out, he had just got home from a family outing and intended to study. Decided not to bother him. There was no point in calling the other friend since it would mean violating his curfew. The silver lining over this dark cloud being, I get some solo time to myself and think about things, in general.

I was at one of my most preferred spots - on the Mulund east-west flyover, watching trains go by. When suddenly I wanted water. No, I wasn't thirsty. I just wanted to see water. Lots and lots of water! I wished it rained. But judging by the weather, I knew it wasn't about to rain anytime soon. But still, I wanted water. Lots and lots of water!

It was about 21:45 when I decided, 'meh, screw it. I'm going to a place FILLED with water. RIGHT NOW!' Getting your folks used to the fact that you are a night bug IS a difficult thing, but an extended curfew DOES have its benefits. Tonight, I utilized it! Took a train northwards to the not-so-friendly suburb of Thane (that we prefer to call 'The Village') (my friends and family from the village are SO gonna kill me if they read this part) A little walk from the bustling railway junction later, I was at Talav Pali (Masunda Lake). Despite being around 10'oclock it was moderately crowded but by Indian standards, it wasn't enough to be called a crowd. The thing I found most enticing about the lake was how the buildings and lights were reflecting clearly in the stagnant water. It was so soothing to watch that I decided to blow my cover and act like the tourist I was and pull out my cell phone and take snaps.

This next picture is of a theater named Gadkari Rangayatan, where they hold plays, mostly Marathi ones. Personally, I'm not much interested in plays, let aside Marathi ones. But for some odd reason, today, I felt like watching one! Too bad there was none playing at that time, otherwise I might have given it a shot. Although, a few minutes later, it DID seem like a horribly bad idea. (since I get to see one everyday at home; free of cost)

Random impulses, I feel, are a part of what destiny holds for you. If its within my bounds, I prefer to act according to these instead of defying what's in store for me.Be it good or bad. When I was standing over the flyover and had the impulse to see water, LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER, I knew that on my way home tonight, something was bound to have happened... and it did.

As my eyes uninterestedly scanned the areas, a huge truck caught my attention. It was open and had lots people standing on the rear along with an idol of a familiar deity. 'In February?', was what my head asked first. But then it hit me that there HAD been decorations in my neighborhood as well for the same. Because it was an everyday thing for me, I had ended up completely ignoring its existence! As the driver took a shabby turn towards the lake, I realized what they were here for. The ritual I had missed all my childhood, that had been later buried under the chaos of my mind - The Visarjan!

So I kept an eye on the truck and paced faster, so that I wouldn't lose sight of it. When it stopped, I caught up and sat by a spot at the edge where they had places to sit, not too far from the truck. Amidst the Paan spitting douchebags, guys holding pinkies with other guys and hyperactive Saffies, I seemed like a complete mismatch. Despite the unnerving feeling, I decided to stick around, just to see how things go. So after checking out the place a bit, they said prayers. Apologies for the bad picture quality, night mode just isn't good enough on my phone's camera.

and after a long wait, they boarded the idol onto a motor boat, all done manually! Off went the little ship to the middle of the lake and the few people on it said farewell to their deity.

It was almost 23:30 when I left the lake and looked back upon this incident, on my way home. I wondered if I would remember this special moment, that randomly came and passed by, in years to come. That's why I decided to post this on the blog.

Funny, how you act on a random impulse and things turn out in ways you could have never imagined. A wish that I bore back then, fulfilled so many years later.

Well thanks for reading till the very end. ^_^

Nem,
signing off :D

The Ancient Tribal High-Fives

Well, its been a really long time since I wrote here and since I had some spare time today, why not breathe life into the blog again? The past few days have really been a trial for me as I realized how tough waiting is. Yes, my styuuupid results aren't out yet. Killing time with video games, movies and series seemed like a good idea at first but when your are half way through the new semester and you realize that you have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what's going on in college, its time to act! Since I had restricted my online habits a lot last semester, I wont let that go as a waste by lazing around now!

Anyway, I know you are not reading this to listen to a crazy guy rant about how much of a sloth he has become (evidence - no blog post in January). You are probably here to get a good laugh, aren't you? But unfortunately, that's not what this place is about. I made this blog to share my crazy discoveries and inventions with the world (that is you, since you are reading this right now) in hopes that one day, I shall be remembered as the 'guy who thought of crazy stuff' (something like a smaller version of Leonardo Da Vinci) But I guess that ends up being funny in a way or so. Well, I don't care if you are laughing at my posts or laughing at me; after all, my true goal is to put a smile on that face of yours >:)

It was just another warm Sunday afternoon when I was lazing on the bed thinking of which gun would be better to kill the Spanish drug lords, who had been dancing wearing sombreros and being a pain in the ass for my Uncle Kenny Wu. After choosing the Railgun as my weapon of choice, backed up by a few handmade Molotov that I made at the petrol pump, I drove to their hideout in a stolen car.

On my way to their base, I noticed something very peculiar in my surrounding! (in my REAL LIFE surrounding) My eyes shifted from the Nintendo DS to an odd pattern on the bedsheets. They appeared to be cave paintings from some ancient tribal cave, cleverly copy-pasted on a bedsheet!

It had all sorts of weird depictions of tribal life on it. Like, feeding chickens which were as big as ostriches (lucky brats OR bad artists), children (or possibly monkeys) climbing on trees, people getting high and dancing in circles around a fire and lots of other disturbing things all depicted in a somewhat stick soldier fashion. Now the picture I found most intriguing was the following one -

There I was staring blankly at this gesture, as my (stolen) car caused a traffic catastrophe on the DS. There it was - the High Five. What, in the world, was a high five doing on bedsheets? Rather, what was a high five doing on a cave painting? Could it possibly be that the greeting gesture posts back to the nomadic era? What if the high five was a tribal Indian gesture all along? (the brown Indians, NOT the red ones) If that were the case, does that mean people greet each other like primates? O_O

Well, whatever might be the case, I was more than happy to have 'accidentally' spilled ketchup over the sheets and request an immediate change. >:) Sayounara freaky bedsheets. No more nightmares of scary tribal people with no faces or fingers XD

Oh would you look at the time? Gotta get back to err...ummm...WORK.... yes! Work!! (idk what exactly though)

Now we know that high fives are for primates or people with no faces (or fingers or lives)

Nem,
signing off

ps - take one last look at the freaky picture to engrave it into your memory so that it'll be more clearly visible in your nightmares ^_^

The Horror Icon of the Twen-teens

Its really been bothering me for a while but there might be a time when we run out of cool horror symbols to look up to.This has gone so far that its giving me nightmares! (I wouldn’t wanna go into details on this one)The sheer thought haunts me. As a lover of the horror and paranormal genre, its about time I do something about it!

Vampires used to be the coolest with their accents, bloodlust and style.But a certain SOMEBODY peed all over it. As for Werewolves, they weren’t really that cool to begin with coz they were hairy and they died from a metal used in feminine jewelry - LAME. Well, I don’t wanna be criticizing the already criticized, here (its like beating up a defeated old man… and my conscience would kill me, if I did so).

So getting back to our topic, lets continue discussing on who would get to be the NEXT HORROR ICON!!! Now, the ones that pose a serious threat to humanity would definitely be (you guessed it)ZOMBIES! Why? Coz they can be real! (Well, not as real as drunk aggressive retards; but these can be good zombie substitutes)They have what it takes to change the entire world and the way we live in it! The worst thing is – you can become one! To avail yourself of a zombie membership isn’t that hard of task either! No forms, no background checks, no verifications, no documentations, NOTHING! A bite is all that is needed and once you are a member, you can even invite you friends, family, bros, unsuspecting strangers, crazy old ladies who live with their cats, stereotypes, twilight fans, nerds and even drag queens! (caution – beware of those psychos with shotguns, baseball bats or anything that can crack your skull)

Now zombies DO have the potential to become the next horror symbols of the upcoming era (2011 -2020 : the twen-teens, as I would like to call it XD) However, we must be aware that the enemies of the horror circle might come up with something crappy to degrade zombie and steal their thunder for their selfish benefits. Example – Twilight : Apocalypse. (Where the world has been infected by a parasite and most of the human race has been zombified; that’s when the love story between zombies begins! God save us x_x)

SO we need a backup plan, just in case the zombies are taken to the ‘pink side’. Hence, the next in line are scary little girls. If you have a 5 year old sister who has a habit of walking in the corridor late at night, you would know exactly how scary that is. You couldn’t have possibly ignored them; they had been everywhere – The Exorcist, The Ring, Ju-On and more movies (that I’m too bored to list out right now) Well the key feature here is that they all are cute! That’s the whole point of scaring people! You have something cute and it suddenly becomes freaky; that comes as a shock (and that’s why the Japanese are so good at horror; simply because they are good at ‘cute’)

But instead of taking a risk, its safer to have backup for a backup! So, here comes the third contestant for the NEXT HORROR ICON! The most flexible, the most scientific, the smartest, the creepiest and the most REAL of them all – the Mad Scientist!! Why the Mad Scientist, you ask? Its simple. They made Frankenstein (here on, I will refer to the mad scientists as a group of people rather than just ONE person), they made Mr.Hyde. In fact, most of the super-villains out there are mad scientists, to begin with. (the list is SO long, I don’t even wanna start naming them)

Then, unlike zombies or little girls, they are smart! I’ll give you an example – a zombie is chasing you, you throw a piece of meat, he will stop chasing you and eat the meat. A little girl ghost is chasing you, you throw a Justin Beaver DVD, she’ll stop chasing you and run to her bedroom with the DVD. But if a Mad Scientist is chasing you, desperate to dissect your body, curious to know about your insides; nothing can save you, NOTHING! What’s worse? He might even have henchmen like the infamous Igor! (yes, the midget with a hump on his back, who wears a hood, lives in a castle and says stuff like “yesss mah-ster, the errangements have beeeeen maid”)

Besides, the other annoying factor about Mad Scientists is that they are unpredictable because of the gizmos and gadgets they might have up their sleeves. Who knows what that pointy thing in their pocket is used for? (oh wait, that was a pencil) Besides the pencil, they can do whatever they want! Like bring Frankenstein to life or make candy to control the little girl ghost or makeDolphins walk on land and other stuff that might seem kind of disturbing to common human civilization! (that’s why they live in castles on hills/cliffs where people can’t find them)

Then again there is the most threatening of qualities. THEY CAN BE REAL!! A person who is madly in love with science isn’t hard to find in different cultures these days. He can be the crazy looking old guy you see every day when returning home; who knows what he does behind closed doors? ^_^

Thus I rest my case to nominate the Mad Scientists for the next horror symbol of the twen-teens! THEY ARE COOL (and not to mention) SCARY, FREAKY AND DISTURBING enough to give you nightmares!!

Signing Off,
Traumatized Nem O_O

(PS – I wrote this to clear my mind so that I can sleep peacefully. But it seems to have backfired somehow coz I still can’t sleep) x_x"

That American Guy

Yes, I’m talking about that American guy. You have probably seen him if you watch animes or play video games even a bit, you will know who I am talking about. This guy has been all over the place and no one seems to have noticed him yet! I’m sure he has a name. What I’m curious is, about his origins; how he came into existence (not biologically; I mean, on screen). WHO is this mystery man who keeps popping up in almost any place a manga artist can imagine? So this time we focus our night vision on ‘That American Guy’.

So basically, he is this blue-eyed hyperactive blonde guy with a spikey haircut, geometric facial features and wears clothes that say out loud – AMERICA.

And if you still don’t know who we are talking about, then let me bring him to light. You have seen him as Guile from Street Fighter working in the American Air Force.

You have seen him as Lt.Surge in Pokemon as a gym leader of Vermillion Town.

You have also seen him as the ‘Typical American Consumer’ (who somehow resembles and sounds like Brad Pitt) in Yakitate Japan.

 

So who exactly is this guy? Was he a poor American kid from a trailer park, who got so frustrated of the normal life he was living, that he decided to pack his belongings and get away from the chaos and go to the land of the rising sun, to blend into the culture and become a legend? He became the face of America for the Japanese anime and manga culture! Here we uncover the mystery!


<All this crap was written before I asked the gods. Now you shall witness the power of the internet>


A deeper search over our target lead to the following context on remote section of a distant article on wikipedia. He uses the name Brad Kidd/Kid (ブラッド・キッド, Buraddo Kiddo) as he plays a character in Yakitate Japan (obviously pretending to be fooling around when actually undercover)



"A supporting character who was Kuroyanagi's classmate in college and the president of a major detective agency in America. The character is a parody of the do-it-all American Brad Pitt. Kidd is used in many instances in the manga and anime as a sort of deus ex machina in reactions or flashbacks from a masseuse to an attorney or the head of a private investigation firm."

 

Interestingly, this guy used to work in a detective agency! Further investigation leads deeper into this guy's history. Our special search division found out that he used to work in the military before becoming a gym leader in Vermilion city. Here is another extract that describes his nature as a gym leader -



"Lt. Surge is known as The Lightning American. Apparently, he is or was an American soldier who fought in at least one war, during which Electric-type Pokémon saved his life. As a member of the army, Surge was a strict CO, and was rather cautious. He was a pilot as well, and used Electric-type Pokémon to power his planes, a practice that in at least one occasion saved his life. Also, Surge saved the life of one of the Trainers in his gym who was in the army at the same time."


As Guile from Street Fighter, we managed to find out his past after disowning Raichu and his gym. Now he took up hand-to-hand combat! However, I have a hunch that he still has a pokemon hidden somewhere between fights that uses the move sonicboom for him, as he takes credits as if its his own move. Following is what we found out about him as Guile -



"A Major in the United States Air Force, he leaves his country and family to enter the World Warrior tournament to avenge the death of his friend Charlie, who was killed by M. Bison, the tournament's sponsor, sometime before the events of the game. In his ending, he defeats Bison, but is dissuaded from killing him by his wife Jane and their daughter Amy. Guile spares Bison and returns home to be a family man."

In the US Air Force, it seems, he was promoted from Lieutenant to Major before he had to leave to take revenge on some guy/animal called Mr.Bison. But failed due to domestic issues, as explained above.



At in his forties now, frustrated with his life, wife and dreams, he decided to work upon his childhood dream of working with mangas again. The last we saw of him was in an anime called Gintama. Following is a quote by him working as as a mangaka in Gintama. (be careful, he will try to sell you cheap stuff on TV)

 

And thus was the life of our 'not-so-popular' celebrity who managed to play unimportant roles in the popular culture of Japan. So why did I write this article on him? Pity. Yes, such characters deserve attention. This character IS important. Can you imagine life without this guy? I mean come on! If it weren't for him, who would have Ash defeated to get his badge? Who would have played all those humiliating roles in Yakitate Japan as an Austrian?

Hats off to you, my American friend. You might have failed in your life in becoming a lead role but you have inspired the likes of me T_T THANK YOU

- Nem >_<"

*still sobbing*

The Levels of Awesomeness

Its been a long long time since I've written anything here (credits to my 'epic fail' exams) But now that they are over, I finally got time..............................to play MMOs!!!

But now that I've played enough of Ragnarok (and am waiting as Iris is downloading), its about time I update my blog!

So the other day I was thinking about rating things in terms of awesomeness (clearly inspired by St.Barney Stinson). When stating something that's awesome, its kind of tough to indicate exactly HOW awesome the awesome thing is. That was when I realized that awesomeness needs to be standardized.

Now let me illustrate the levels of awesomeness with a few examples that everyone can understand. 

Light years away from Awesome -

This picture doesn't need words to make it funnier.

Hungry Fat Guy

Not that Awesome - 

I personally believe that old people should play video games and have some fun in life. After all they deserve some quality time. But when they kick your ass at it, it suddenly seems like a bad idea.

Gamer Granny 

Almost Awesome - 

They would have been Awesome if only they had the auto-aim feature that some fps games have XD

M4A1

Awesome -

This spot used to belong to Vampires and Werewolves until someone came up with a whole range of crazy books and made them look stupid.

Zombies

Uber Awesome - 

In life or in death, 'this guy' has made a huge impact on anyone and everyone he came across. Uber awesome is something that that affects and changes a huge population.

This Guy

Epic Awesome -

Back in the day, Pens were mightier than Swords. Lately, things have changed.

We have a clear winner!

That's it for now. I hope you guys had fun reading this :D

I'll be posting a bit more frequently now, so see ya then.

Nem, signing off XD