Parental Dilemma of the Mankid

Despite my efforts to live as a grown independent man, I find myself back at the place where I started. In my parent's home... as a child, I once was. The thing about being with your parents is, no matter how much you grow or how much ever you mature, to them, you'll always be a kid. Perhaps, it's because they WANT to see you as a kid. That's how their memory has registered you and less flexible humans fear change. So they disapprove or overlook it. I might just be harsh on myself but as a twenty two year old living with his parents, I call myself a failure. Feeling like a man-kid is something I utterly detest.

Being twenty something, it's difficult to live with your parents. You have your ideologies that have been well thought, carefully conceived, skilfully tweaked and sharply plotted. They have their own. Supposedly... things that 'withstood the test of time'. Even the animal kingdom teaches us, young ones don't live with their parents, once they can hunt for themselves. I read somewhere, 'The key to change is not in resisting the old but on channelizing all your energy into the new'. I mean, for a second here just wait. Stop whatever you are doing and think about it. If the Homo Erectus would've done the exact same thing as his parents, we wouldn't be walking on two feet.

Evolution teaches us not to mimic our parents. Now I'm getting off topic here; let's get back to that. So say, you are twenty something who just finished college and is having a hard time landing a job in this horrid economy. There comes a day when you realize, "Oh no, I'm gonna have to move back with my parents and life's gonna get ugly again." We love our parents. We really do. We wouldn't be where we are if they hadn't supported us (doesn't apply to all). But living with them is just not practical; not in your twenties. Especially, if you are one of those humans who is actively trying to evolve the human race. Yes, the Homo Erectus, of the modern time (with less homo and more erectus).

Now I was reverting back to my childhood habits and puny arguments with my parents. When I was living alone, these things didn't happen. Life was very peaceful. The thought process was simple and I didn't have to carefully sugarcoat my point fearing I would hurt someone's ego. It was so easy with friends, colleagues and the landlords.

The landlords. They didn't have kids. I was their kid. But they never treated me like one. Because my presence was an income to them. If I leave, they not only lose a source of income, they also lose an epic starcraft coach. Add to that, they have to search for a new tenant, which is a hectic process all together. So pissing me off was one of the last things they would do. They didn't have an ego. Maybe they did. But they never bothered me with it. There was this mutual respect. "If I be rude to my tenant, he leaves and I have to look for another one (who can play starcraft with me)" AND "If I be rude to my landlord, he kicks me out."

This landlord-tenant relationship worked out great. Hell, they cried when I left! Not even my biological parents did that. So what was so difficult about my parent-child relationship? Was I being immature? Was I taking my parents and their opinions too seriously? Why couldn't I have a relation with them like I had with my landlords?

That's when I thought, why not?

You are twenty something, have to live with your parents and are having difficulties coping with it? Change the nature of your relationship. Stop thinking of them as your parents and start thinking of them as your landlords. Pay them a monthly rent if required. Parents with a sense of humor would laugh it off and sensitive ones would be pissed when you suggest this concept of redefining your relationship and paying for what used to be free. Practical ones would accept the money and let you live with your dignity. Mine didn't; they were pissed.

Now if you think your parents might be too shocked with this, don't tell them. Just start acting like it. I mean, they DO reserve the right to throw you out if you do something really really stupid. That's the same as a landlord. Now if they don't accept the rent you were so willing to pay, why not pay them in services like, doing the laundry or cleaning up or setting up their wifi or anything that makes their life easier.

So if you are twenty something and are forced to live with your parents (for whatever reasons), don't imagine yourself as the kid, you are the tenant. Act like it.

The Stack of Life

Whenever you are to make a major move and you are not really excited about it or maybe even unsure of the move you are making, this principle should help you out. The Stack of Life principle.

Today, I met an old friend of mine and told him about move. He couldn't help but notice that I was sad. As a bro, he suggested I was thinking of this as a terminal thing. As if things are ending. He is right. This is not the end. There's more to life than moving back to your hometown. There are many other places to explore! So many things I haven't seen or done!

The way he puts it, the experiences you get in life can be considered as elements in a stack. There will be good times and there will be bad times. But they all go in your stack of life. So eventually, you'll have all these experiences in your stack.

The other thing was, you should judge what's on your stack and what it looks like but don't be judgmental of it. We should rather try to find out more things to add to our stacks. Get out of your comfort zone; try out new things. Find out things you would like to add to your stack.

Over time, you will have all these experiences and memories that you accumulated over time. It's these memories and what you make of them that makes you who you are.

The Shopping Cart Hack

Ever been in a situation when you return home from a shopping spree, crawl into bed and wake up the next morning wondering why you brought all that stuff; most of which you wont even need?

Some French dude once said,

"人間は弱いんだよ。"
"Humans are weak."

It's funny to see that guy in the movies who manages to survive great perils like jumping off a building, surviving a car accident, listen to Justin Beaver sing and what not; only to die by a misplaced nail, piercing him at a vulnerable spot. This is just physical weakness.

The more dangerous form, I believe, is mental weakness. Inability to think or make rational decisions is like a debuff that limits your vision allowing you to see only the center of your monitor. Or should I say, allowing you to see only what is in front of you. There is always more to anything, than what meets the eye. That's why, even though it seems wasteful, be sure to carry a Pokemon who can use HM05 in a dark cave.

Going back to the example we started with. It's a regretful morning and you are stuck with an empty wallet and stuff you don't need. Studying the human species and the human side of myself, I realized, "人間は弱いんだよ。" Without a goal, purpose or motive, it's easy to be lost, it's easy to forget WHY you are doing WHAT you are doing. Add money to this mix and voila! You have an adult; a kid with money. Being humans, we like those shiny things. You see that cute girl in the subway and it somehow pleases you. Even without knowing her mentality, mindset or anything about her, you somehow like her. Hell, she might just be a psychopath killer! Who knows. My point being, shiny things make simple minded humans happy and let's be honest, no matter how perplexed your mind is, everyone has a simple side to them. The vulnerable one.

As if this level of happiness isn't adequate, the consumerist world today, adds another thing to this explosive mix. VARIETY. When I was at the grocery store today, I realized the amount of variety we get. The fact that we have choices has a very liberal feel to it. Nothing wrong that.

THIS is what was wrong - 

Locking the door to my apartment before heading for the supermarket, my intention was to buy something to drink that is healthy, cheap, thirst-quenching and can be had in surplus without major side effects. That itself was enough to cross beer and soda off my list. The first thing that came to my mind was Orange juice. 決めた。(decided) Orange juice it shall be. At the supermarket, practicality kicked in and I realized, Ice Lemon Tea would be a better and cheaper alternative. At the end of my spree, I asked myself, what is this bar of Snickers, this HUGE can of Milo, shitload of Pocky sticks and a two cups of cup ramyun (Korean Ramen) doing in my basket? Do I even need this? Are they essential to my survival? THIS is what was wrong.

Humans are weak. I had let my humane side do the shopping. As I looked at all the junk in my basket, I felt stupid. The fun part was picking stuff off the shelf and throwing it in my basket. What was not fun was about to happen in a few minutes at the cashier. That was when I saw myself waking up in the morning, just the way I described at the beginning of this post. As much as I had enjoyed 'sliding things in my basket', I hated the fact that I'm gonna have to 'wake up to that sick feeling'. Promptly, I placed those things back on their shelves.

They say, some of the greatest discoveries are made by accident. It was only by this accident that I ended up with this crazy idea of satisfying your wants by 'sliding things in your basket' and being practical about it by 'placing them back on the shelf' after a moment of realization. Productive? Definitely not. But if you are a small time schizo like me, it's amusing to avoid the 'regretful morning' scenario while still pampering the kid in you. Thus, I present to you, the Shopping Cart Hack; the joy of shopping and the joy of not feeling like an idiot.

Nem and nem,
signing off

Dinosaurism

Living your life by a set of rules, in a way, gives meaning to it. A life without a purpose is not much different than that of a wanderer. Personally, I think, Life is more about Time. Think of it this way, we are allocated a particular amount of time in this world and we are all gonna die someday. So what truly matters is what we do in this stipulated time period. How we spend this time or with whom we spend it with is actually spending a part of your life with that person or that subject.

Learning is a life long process and there are many things that we learn; actively or passively. One of the fastest ways to learn, I believe, is learning from mistakes. This statement doesn't exactly promote the more misinterpreted meaning to MAKE mistakes so you can learn from them. It can also mean learning from mistakes made by others. Another approach is to foresee mistakes and to avoid them completely. But that's moving away from my point.

Well so here I am, trying to learn from the wisdom left by some of the most ancient species known to mankind - The Dinosaurs. It's amazing, how simple their life was, yet so systematic. Fascinating creatures, they were and shall be. Following are the commandments that I have learned from them.


The Ten Commandments of Dinosaurism

1 - You are free to be ANY dinosaur, anytime you want. Hence you can follow behavioral patterns of any other dinosaur depending on the situation. For instance, Kids love Barney.

Observe closely the expressions of the kids.

2 - You are free to eat anything. ANYTHING. Even other Dinosaurs. However, that also means other Dinosaurs can eat you too. (here, eating can be a metaphor to 'messing with')

Like. A. Boss.

3 - You are to follow the laws of your jungle. If you are to go to a new jungle, learn the rules; follow them to ensure survival. Knowing the rules tell you what NOT to do. If you know what not to do, what you CAN do is only limited by your imagination.

Unrelated picture; but she is really cute.

4 - You must take care of the jungle you live in and ensure it is fit for yourself, other Dinosaurs and the future Dinosaurs to come.

and the environment.

5 - You are allowed to suffix your nickname with -saur/-osaur in informal and -saurus/-osaurus in formal situations. Every Dinosaur has a right to have an awesome nickname.

"Dear no! It's SIR Tyrannosaurus!"

6 - You will be nice to little Dinosaurs. You, YOURSELF, will not indulge in activities you don't want THEM to do. However, you must not hamper evolution. Dinosaurs would've never taken to the skies if their parents had prohibited any attempts to fly.

You really don't want kids to do stupid things just because they saw you do it first. That would only result in devolution.

7 - You will leave your nest once you can hunt on your own. Don't be a burden to your creators. They can manage on their own, just like they did before you existed. You must be grateful to them for everything they did and didn't do for you, for those are the very things that make you the Dinosaur you are.

What's a post without cutesy artwork. So there, dawww all you want.

9 - You will prioritize the evolution of your species. If you are required to, a mate must be chosen with utmost care, prioritizing factors that you would want to see in the future generations.

Apparently, large eyes and long legs are still hot.

10 - You will one day go extinct but you must leave behind something that will baffle the humans for centuries to come; only then shall you be a true Dinosaur.

A human, baffled at what you left behind.

Thus I conclude my findings and studies. The path shown to us by the dinosaurs is a very harsh one, indeed. Even though we, as individual Dinosaurs, WILL, one day be extinct, it's this limited amount of time we have that makes life so important and interesting.

Nemosaurus,
Signing off.

How not to be Forever Alone

Have you ever known that one guys who is actually a genius and knows how things are done but is stuck in a miserable situation? Yeah, this post is for that guy or girl. For that forever alone guy or girl who encounters rejection and gives up hope.

It's often when you do something you enjoy, you lose track of time. This simple statement has evolved into a concept in psychology called the Flow. Immersing yourself into a task or process might seem simple but for some it is a fairly challenging task. Some might even fool kids into thinking that they have ADD (attention deficiency disorder) thereby scarring them for life. But I've known someone who was classified with ADD and had to grow up with that label on his head. The guy's a freaking genius (and no, he is not a character in the fast and furious series). It's often when a person is handicapped with a label, they get this intense urge to outperform. The reason why I like to be around these people is because they emit a certain positive aura, despite all odds. Optimism, hope and faith are very strong driving forces.

This chart indicates the emotions you might experience when you encounter a tasks of a certain challenge level with your expertise at that task (simply put, during flow). You can test it out with yourself while performing some tasks and seeing if the emotions displayed are true. Do let me know in the comments below.

Over the months, I've been promptly following Rule 32 of the Rules of the Internet. Amidst my lurking sprees, it's hard to avoid the rage comics and adventures of Forever Alone. Every time I look at Forever Alone Guy, I won't lie, I did find it amusing. Reflecting upon certain situations, I must admit, there are a few to which I can co-relate to. These are the times when one can't help picturizing himself/herself as forever alone guy.

But the question is - is it really that bad? Personally, I need some time where I need to be left alone. It helps me think better; gives me the space I need. There is a saying in the ancient Indian language of Sanskrit, which goes something like this, "ati parichayasch avadnya". Literally translating this makes it a mess, so I would prefer to convey the meaning behind it. It means, 'if someone or something has always been there, that presence gets taken for granted'. It's closest to the English phrase, "Distance makes the heart grow fonder". Being alone helps you relish the company of people. You learn to appreciate them further.

But if you really don't wanna be this forever alone character, what should you do? How do you stop yourself  from making a rage comic about the funny things that happen to you and later feeling miserable. The thing about not being forever alone is being social. It is by being a contributing member to whatever you are a part of that you can interact with people and people interact with you.

I remember watching Fight Club, a long time ago. What started as a small hobby group ended up becoming a HUGE organization. That truly illustrates how someone can start something and get things rolling. Even if this genius is not recognized or entertained by someone else, they can always start their own jig and get something going. This 2006 movie that I recently watched, Accepted, joins the dots for my hypothesis. Didn't get into a college? No problems, MAKE ONE. If you need it, then there are people out there who need it too; probably, just as bad. If you can't get it, then there are people out there who want it but can't get it either. If you feel lonely and rejected, there are people out there who feel the same! So if you feel that way, try to search for these people and support them with a goal that you share. Coz together, you can't be alone :p