How being enslaved by an alien race would benefit humanity

Firstly, what's with the hysteric look? You probably clicked that link wondering, 'wtf is this about?' OR 'Seriously, how is that even possible?' In the next few paragraphs, I'm gonna try to elaborate my point. It's just one way to look at it, so if you disagree/ don't like it/ hate me in general, please don't shoot me. Secondly, to my friends, families, supporters, fans and haters (yes, my dear haters, I do love you) apologies for letting this place gather dust over there past few months. I can rant about how life is becoming busier day by day, but hell, that's not what you are here for, are you? Therefore, without further ado, let's get down to business.

So throughout history, we have seen a technologically superior race invade and enslave an inferior one; exploiting them and resources, which rightfully belong to them. The same old same old. As time progressed, they ran out of ideas for motion pictures (yeah, that's what they used to call movies, back in the day) and since science fiction was booming, they thought, 'HEY! Why not try something new; something from the past and something from the new!' and thus was born the epic genre of the Alien invasion movies. There are just SO many of them, the thought of listing a few intimidates me (not just because of the sheer numbers but also thanks to the raging alien movie fans who would go, 'you n00b! How could you forget the most epicest awesomest alien movie of all time - <insert name of the so-called epicest awesomest alien movie of all time here>').

Getting back, the basic theme of these movies is pretty much the same. A hi-tech alien race decides to come to Earth and enslave or destroy all human beings. The destroying part doesn't really make sense, unless they want natural resources, say minerals or vespene gas, without human interference.

But then again, they'll need to mine or extract these minerals or gases, which again, would require someone to man the stations. (or should I say, 'alien the stations'; no joke intended there) Here, they will have to either employ staff from their own planet OR implement machinery (or some psyonic technology) to look after it. Strictly, from a financial point of view, that requires investment and maintenance (at the very least). Why go through all this bs when you can just ask the humans to get it for you? That's the reason why I feel, destroying the human race isn't in their best interest.

Then again, there would be the old school non-believers, still living in their little bubble of, 'No, aliens don't exist.' I mean, seriously, grow up. You exist, I exist, we exist. A thriving population of nearly 6 billion species of the human race, so why not some other race on some other planet? [note - for those who talk about 'life supporting' planets, you must always remember, the Earth's atmosphere wasn't made for us, WE were made for it. Our ancestors evolved and adapted to it. So who knows, our alien invaders might just be Nitrogen breathing, Sulfuric acid drinking badasses] (< paranoia)

The other thing is, we, the human race, are trying so hard to venture into outer space. What if THEY have already succeeded? (< major paranoia)

Now ever since I came to Singapore (YAY!!!), I realized how different things would be if the British hadn't ruled this place so many years ago. One of the biggest differences, for a foreigner like me, would be that I would be speaking either Hokkien or Mandarin or some other Chinese dialect or Malay or maybe even Tamil! Overall, we have this linguistic uniformity thanks to the British gift of English.

For illustrative purposes, let's consider a fictional planet called Xeforonia (by common sci-fi conventions it has an X in it and is hard to pronounce. I can almost imagine our Xeforonian commander trying to communicate with Raj, the fictional Indian slave from Russel Peter's illustrations.

Commander : xquiie fuu ze kottan meeneraals, Raj  (Raj, go mine the minerals)
Raj : Saar.... It's not kottan... it's called Cotton. *picks cotton from the fields*
Commander : -_-"    *facepalms*

Raj : 1
Xeforonian Commander : 0

My point being, they will need to educate the humans and teach us their language and technology. Now this is the point where they are, practically, nailing their own coffin. Because once the humans, master their language, we will do what we have been doing for the past 'I-don't-wanna-count-how-many' years. MIGRATION XD

At this time, our Xeforonian bosses would wish they had never met us.

The benefit for humanity, here, would be a common language that all humans would be able to speak, since it was forcibly taught in school. Isn't that how people of most commonwealth nations learnt English? (Hell, I did) Might sound silly to an extent but it would foster a sense of oneness, unity, mutual understanding and <more words from the sociology text book here> amongst us humans.

Over time, what seemed like slavery, suddenly turns out to be an opportunity! So the next time, you see a flying soccer slowly landing, don't panic, scream and run; rather anticipate your new bosses. Wave to them, give them a warm welcoming smile, get to know them better. Because at the end, they might be invading our planet and enslaving us but in the long run, it's WE who will be taking over their planet XD

To top it, who knows, they might just be kinda cute! ;)

The Implanted Curse

Today, I wanna focus on a phenomenon that occurs quite predominantly in day to day life. More often to people who believe in a higher power or the paranormal compared to the non-believers. They say, words can be powerful tools. Once said, they can't be taken back, no matter what. A message given in an implicit manner may lead to misunderstandings and possible catastrophes.

We all know what a curse is. No explanation needed there. But just for people who might be new to the concept (rare people), curses are intentions or wishes to bring harm to others generally cast as words or sometimes even as spells or rituals. Some being of the occult nature, while others are just words said in fits of rage. Whatever the curse maybe, they give off tremendous amounts of negative energy which affects the psychology rather than the actual physical world.

Implanted curses don't necessarily have to be swear words OR curses cast with evil intentions. They can be a saying, they can be a belief, they can be a superstition or anything that prohibits you from doing something with a bad consequence if you fail to obey.

Good and bad things keep happening in everyone's lives. For instance, a ticket counter closing on your face would be considered as bad luck. Whereas, getting the last pack of your favorite cookies from the store would obviously be considered as good luck (almost as if it was there especially for you). My point here is, life is a ride of ups and down. Good and bad things keep happening.

People believe in things (more staunchly) due to experience. If you believe in karma and do something wrong, the guilt will be a burden to you; coz at the back of your head, you know it's gonna come back at you. After this misdeed, if something bad happens to you, the immediate reason for this action is given as bad karma, even though that bad incident was going to happen anyways.

Superstitions say walking under a ladder gives bad luck. So after walking under a ladder, if anything goes wrong with a person, s/he tends to blame it on the ladder. If the same scenario was considered without the person walking under the ladder yet resulted in the bad consequence, the same person might not have even paid attention to trivial bad occurrences.

I'll explain this with a real life example that forced me to think about this. Every three months or so, a beggar dressed in white used to pay us a visit. She was a very old lady and I remember being scared of her almost witch-like features, the first time I saw her. My mom was one of her regular customers who gave her used clothes, food and sometimes even spare change. On a whim, one day, mom decided to ignore this lady. She waited and waited at the door for alms but no one attended her. Eventually she gave up and walked away. With that, mom hoped she would stop coming, now onwards. As evening fell, my father returned home from work. He had a grave expression on his face; partly concealing sorrow. As it turned out, he had a minor car accident. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt. However the car was damaged and so was his spirit. At around the same time as every time, the old lady appeared the next month. Out of superstitious fear, my mom didn't turn her down this time.

Coincidence? Who knows. But the curse was implanted in my mom's head the minute she had turned down the old beggar for the first time. Her conscience was eating her away on the inside. She kept pondering over the thought of the refusing alms to the old beggar. As a result, the cause of the next bad thing that occurred HAD to be what was on her mind.

THAT is an implanted curse. A curse that doesn't really exist but gets implanted in your head because of a fixed mindset about an action and its reaction.

Implanted Curses are very often used in folklore to keep the children of the village from going in the woods. Eventually, a kid braves the odds and enters the forest on a bet or something. A few days later, s/he gets hurt while doing chores. What the other kids think - 'its coz s/he entered the woods!! So it must be true!!!' That is how superstitions are born. At this point of time, they are not something talked about, they are real.

So people, the next time you hesitate before doing something that will (inexplicably) bring bad fortune, remember, the curse has already been implanted in your brain >:)

If you have had any such experiences, I'd love to hear about them in the comments section below. Thank you for reading till the very end; appreciate it.

nemui Nem,
signing off :p

The Hands of Time

Well, since most of my pals are having to put up with their exams, I'm planning to make this a short one.

Its a common observation that time goes really slow when you are bored and super fast when you are at your favorite activity. I do get this itch to mention this one German scientist who did quite a lot of research on this and later migrated to the states and facepalmed when the states used his ideas to nuke down one of my favorite nations. But now that his grandson is skateboarding away, it really doesn't matter much.

I'm just gonna put my 'timely' observations in two simplistic categories - the Lazy Mode and the Workaholic mode. Here's how the hands on the watch seem like when on either modes -


Lazy Mode:

Hour's Hand - tells you what part of the day it is.

Minute's Hand - tells you EXACTLY how late you are.

Second's Hand - Existence remains unnoticed.


Workaholic Mode:

Hour's Hand - YOU CAN ACTUALLY FEEL IT MOVE!

Minute's Hand - used to tell exactly how long it took you to finish a task.

Second's Hand - a constant reminder of how fast time is moving.

So look at your watch's Second's hand and go study :p
That's all for now, catchya later this summer.

Nem,
signing off :p

ps - If you are afflicted by a certain catastrophe called 'examinations'. Try to make it out in single piece and DO NOT lose sanity, just hang in there. Good Luck :D

Haphazardous Impulses

Destiny; the unknown force that makes things flow the way they are meant to. The force that governs all actions and reactions of this world. Till a certain age in life, I didn't believe in such an unearthly force. Its was only when I started seeing the world the way I see it now, I could feel its existence. Everything happens for a reason. Destiny applies for those that don't.

Back when I was a kid, the festival of Ganeshotsav, which generally comes amidst a spam of other Hindu festivals somewhere in September, used to be one of my favorites. To me, now its just a bunch of people who get an idol home for a couple of days, pretend to be its slaves and celebrate when they drown their deity in a nearby lake or sea. (which, honestly, doesn't makes sense. If you love the deity, why send him back? and if you don't, why bring him home in the first place?)

But things were different when I was a kid. Ganeshotsav was just another reason to stay away from school and celebrate. We didn't have Ganapati at our home; however, our neighbors did! Being the energetic jolly kid, I was always around their home, helping and (lazily) assisting them in ways fit for a 8~9 year old kid. I remember waking up early in the morning to get the deity home, on the first day. The part that had always been a mystery to me was the Visarjan. Since they did it late at night and because I was a child, restricted by a curfew time (unlike now), I never got to see it. I had seen it a million times on television but digital media cannot compare to a first hand, real life experience. Later on, as I turned towards the final few years of my teenage, my interest for the whole affair started to die out, for more reasons than I can remember. Ever so often, I used to see the Visarjan part on television; never bothered watching it till the end, either.

So after skipping college and spending the day inside my room like a self-grounded eHermit, my grandfather asked me to take a stroll and catch some fresh air at around 20:30. Granny recommended me to leave after dinner and so I was walking out the door at around 21:30. Called up a friend and as it turned out, he had just got home from a family outing and intended to study. Decided not to bother him. There was no point in calling the other friend since it would mean violating his curfew. The silver lining over this dark cloud being, I get some solo time to myself and think about things, in general.

I was at one of my most preferred spots - on the Mulund east-west flyover, watching trains go by. When suddenly I wanted water. No, I wasn't thirsty. I just wanted to see water. Lots and lots of water! I wished it rained. But judging by the weather, I knew it wasn't about to rain anytime soon. But still, I wanted water. Lots and lots of water!

It was about 21:45 when I decided, 'meh, screw it. I'm going to a place FILLED with water. RIGHT NOW!' Getting your folks used to the fact that you are a night bug IS a difficult thing, but an extended curfew DOES have its benefits. Tonight, I utilized it! Took a train northwards to the not-so-friendly suburb of Thane (that we prefer to call 'The Village') (my friends and family from the village are SO gonna kill me if they read this part) A little walk from the bustling railway junction later, I was at Talav Pali (Masunda Lake). Despite being around 10'oclock it was moderately crowded but by Indian standards, it wasn't enough to be called a crowd. The thing I found most enticing about the lake was how the buildings and lights were reflecting clearly in the stagnant water. It was so soothing to watch that I decided to blow my cover and act like the tourist I was and pull out my cell phone and take snaps.

This next picture is of a theater named Gadkari Rangayatan, where they hold plays, mostly Marathi ones. Personally, I'm not much interested in plays, let aside Marathi ones. But for some odd reason, today, I felt like watching one! Too bad there was none playing at that time, otherwise I might have given it a shot. Although, a few minutes later, it DID seem like a horribly bad idea. (since I get to see one everyday at home; free of cost)

Random impulses, I feel, are a part of what destiny holds for you. If its within my bounds, I prefer to act according to these instead of defying what's in store for me.Be it good or bad. When I was standing over the flyover and had the impulse to see water, LOTS AND LOTS OF WATER, I knew that on my way home tonight, something was bound to have happened... and it did.

As my eyes uninterestedly scanned the areas, a huge truck caught my attention. It was open and had lots people standing on the rear along with an idol of a familiar deity. 'In February?', was what my head asked first. But then it hit me that there HAD been decorations in my neighborhood as well for the same. Because it was an everyday thing for me, I had ended up completely ignoring its existence! As the driver took a shabby turn towards the lake, I realized what they were here for. The ritual I had missed all my childhood, that had been later buried under the chaos of my mind - The Visarjan!

So I kept an eye on the truck and paced faster, so that I wouldn't lose sight of it. When it stopped, I caught up and sat by a spot at the edge where they had places to sit, not too far from the truck. Amidst the Paan spitting douchebags, guys holding pinkies with other guys and hyperactive Saffies, I seemed like a complete mismatch. Despite the unnerving feeling, I decided to stick around, just to see how things go. So after checking out the place a bit, they said prayers. Apologies for the bad picture quality, night mode just isn't good enough on my phone's camera.

and after a long wait, they boarded the idol onto a motor boat, all done manually! Off went the little ship to the middle of the lake and the few people on it said farewell to their deity.

It was almost 23:30 when I left the lake and looked back upon this incident, on my way home. I wondered if I would remember this special moment, that randomly came and passed by, in years to come. That's why I decided to post this on the blog.

Funny, how you act on a random impulse and things turn out in ways you could have never imagined. A wish that I bore back then, fulfilled so many years later.

Well thanks for reading till the very end. ^_^

Nem,
signing off :D

The Ancient Tribal High-Fives

Well, its been a really long time since I wrote here and since I had some spare time today, why not breathe life into the blog again? The past few days have really been a trial for me as I realized how tough waiting is. Yes, my styuuupid results aren't out yet. Killing time with video games, movies and series seemed like a good idea at first but when your are half way through the new semester and you realize that you have ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA what's going on in college, its time to act! Since I had restricted my online habits a lot last semester, I wont let that go as a waste by lazing around now!

Anyway, I know you are not reading this to listen to a crazy guy rant about how much of a sloth he has become (evidence - no blog post in January). You are probably here to get a good laugh, aren't you? But unfortunately, that's not what this place is about. I made this blog to share my crazy discoveries and inventions with the world (that is you, since you are reading this right now) in hopes that one day, I shall be remembered as the 'guy who thought of crazy stuff' (something like a smaller version of Leonardo Da Vinci) But I guess that ends up being funny in a way or so. Well, I don't care if you are laughing at my posts or laughing at me; after all, my true goal is to put a smile on that face of yours >:)

It was just another warm Sunday afternoon when I was lazing on the bed thinking of which gun would be better to kill the Spanish drug lords, who had been dancing wearing sombreros and being a pain in the ass for my Uncle Kenny Wu. After choosing the Railgun as my weapon of choice, backed up by a few handmade Molotov that I made at the petrol pump, I drove to their hideout in a stolen car.

On my way to their base, I noticed something very peculiar in my surrounding! (in my REAL LIFE surrounding) My eyes shifted from the Nintendo DS to an odd pattern on the bedsheets. They appeared to be cave paintings from some ancient tribal cave, cleverly copy-pasted on a bedsheet!

It had all sorts of weird depictions of tribal life on it. Like, feeding chickens which were as big as ostriches (lucky brats OR bad artists), children (or possibly monkeys) climbing on trees, people getting high and dancing in circles around a fire and lots of other disturbing things all depicted in a somewhat stick soldier fashion. Now the picture I found most intriguing was the following one -

There I was staring blankly at this gesture, as my (stolen) car caused a traffic catastrophe on the DS. There it was - the High Five. What, in the world, was a high five doing on bedsheets? Rather, what was a high five doing on a cave painting? Could it possibly be that the greeting gesture posts back to the nomadic era? What if the high five was a tribal Indian gesture all along? (the brown Indians, NOT the red ones) If that were the case, does that mean people greet each other like primates? O_O

Well, whatever might be the case, I was more than happy to have 'accidentally' spilled ketchup over the sheets and request an immediate change. >:) Sayounara freaky bedsheets. No more nightmares of scary tribal people with no faces or fingers XD

Oh would you look at the time? Gotta get back to err...ummm...WORK.... yes! Work!! (idk what exactly though)

Now we know that high fives are for primates or people with no faces (or fingers or lives)

Nem,
signing off

ps - take one last look at the freaky picture to engrave it into your memory so that it'll be more clearly visible in your nightmares ^_^