Travelling in Space and Time

What had been really bugging my mind lately, was punctuality. Discovery is born from Necessity and THIS is where I began my search for the legendary technique of teleportation. So there was this guy called Dhalsim who was rumored to have a lead role in some game called Street Fighter; as the rumors went, he could teleport. I wonder if he was related to Mahatma Gandhi, somehow. After doing some research on this game, I finally got to see the legendary technique in action! The Yoga Teleport!!!

Further research showed that it was a series of motions he did that made him teleport. The motions were,
 
Front + Down + Front + Low Punch - Mid Punch - High Punch

There were two major challenges I faced. ‘How can I do 3 punches at the same time when I have only 2 hand?’ One solution would be to use the Third Arm Sash but that must be heavily guarded. The solution was offered by a being that somehow resembled a human. Legend has it that this creature has sacrificed most part of its brain in order to obtain exponential mastery of that game called Street Fighter. The being preferred to be called Hak. The Solution offered was in a cryptic code which I managed to decipher, “aree!!! woh teeno ke liye ek hi button assign kar. Usse ekhi button se teeno dabjate hai!!!” It translates as, “assign one button for all three. That way when you hit one, all three are pressed” This creature’s idea was brilliant; I guess its sacrifice was not wasted after all.

The other problem I faced with Yoga Teleport was that no matter how cool the effects were, it was embarrassing to do the combo in public. Worst Case Scenario being a repeated combo failure in public! You have to take a step, crouch, and take another step and then punch; nothing happens so you do that again, only to be dumbstruck by nothingness. Obnoxious, purely obnoxious.

So in the sanctuary and solitude of my bedroom, I tried this combo. Contemplating possible locations where I can accidentally teleport to was a scary thing to do. It ranged from a crashing air plane to the deepest ocean, possibly even a random planet! But the risk was worth the experiment. If this worked, it would be a scientific breakthrough.

But it didn’t.  -_-

That was when I realized what Dhalsim had and I didn’t. Powers! YOGA POWERS!!! It was hard to believe what I was looking for was right there! So I decided to cultivate my yoga powers and attempt Yoga Teleport again.

It happens very often that a man searches for a thing and finds another. The biggest (idiotic) example was Christopher Columbus. We all know he found something he wasn’t looking for. Now he knew, if he returned home without productive reports, the queen would be pissed off at him and would have said gibberish like, “off with his head!” which the people would have taken seriously and would have ACTUALLY beheaded him. So he made a plan; a selfish plan that would save him from the queen’s wrath but keep the rest of the world confused, for eternity about the true identity of the Indians. Now it might have been an idiotic mistake back then (and even now). But if he hadn’t done that one mistake of going to the wrong place, we wouldn’t be enjoying franchised junk food, Superhero comic books, Alien abductions, suing companies for an extra cookie in the jar, South Park and other things of that actually matter to this world.

The only form of yoga cultivation I could think of was Meditation. So tired of the repetitive forward-crouch-forward-tripunch, I looked at the watch. Meekly, it beeped 14:22. I sat down and started meditating. After a while, when I opened my eyes, the clock beeped 14:42! I had time travelled 20 minutes in the future! O_O

Conclusion 1 – Discovery of the new world was not a mistake. Now I can take Dhalsim there and sue him for fraudulent display of inexistent powers. Thank you Columbus, you weren’t a douche after all.
Conclusion 2 - OMG! I can time travel! (Only in the future though) -_-“

The Real Conclusion –

If we look to it that way, we are constantly travelling forward in time. Second by second, minute by minute we are ‘time travelling’ towards the future! Although, this isn’t the ‘time travel’ science fiction movies have shown us. However, conceptually speaking, even as you read this, you are travelling forward in time. (or as generally said, time is moving forward)

-    Nem,
Signing off
^_^